Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Christy's Story

Sometimes students tell it better than we do.  Christy (on left) is a freshman (now sophomore) who will be living in the dorms and leading a Bible study next year.  She shared this at an "open-mike night," and graciously let me share it with you:



Stumbo's Journey:
I like to think of life as a journey. It's like running, where you an enjoy those scenic, easy stretches and the days where you feel on top of life, but at the same time you have to be stubborn and push through the never ending hills and the days where running just sucks, simply because you know it's good for you. Or like climbing, where you know the end result is to top out, but there are many ways to get there. Every hold is one move away, and sometimes you gotta take that leap of faith to grab the next hold just around the corner, not knowing if you're going to land it or fall onto the crash pad below. And in this journey of life, college is just another step. A step into the unknown. A step into adulthood. A step into learning more about yourself than you ever had before.

I knew basically no one coming to Oregon. I met some people at introDUCKtion, like my twin, and I grabbed lunch with my roommate on day over summer, but I was the only person from my high school to venture north into Oregon for years and a lot of my friends at school even questioned why I would choose Oregon over some UC.

Let's just say I'm super glad I did :)

I remember move in day like the back of my hand. I was looking forward to it all summer, and seriously, who could forget lugging all your stuff up 4 flights of stairs? As I was moving in, 2 people asked if I wanted some help. They happened to be Andrew and Kristen. My parents and I already got all my stuff from the car, but they mentioned they were from Intervarsity. I told them I was looking for a fellowship so they gave me their spiel and handed me a flyer. Little did they know that this shy freshman would one day execute the greatest chair heist in history!

Sometime before the Point (IV's large group) that first Wednesday, Alex and this weird guy who wasn't in college anymore went around McClain inviting people to the Point. I was planning on checking it out on my own, but I was stoked to go with people who I kinda knew. The next day I wrote in my journal, "I love my hall. Coolest thing, 15 people from McClain went to Intervarsity on Wednesday and it was AWESOME. I'm definitely going to that one. And we have a Bible study IN McClain." That's all I said. Honestly I was hoping for some elaborate, deep, insightful thought about my first experience at Intervarsity...welcome to freshman spazziness at the beginning of the year!

My freshman year has been a huge journey. There's something about being thrown into life where you're on your own for the first time without your parents and in a place where you know absolutely no one. At the beginning of the year you're pretty much forced to make a bunch of decisions all at once, all of which can dictate what the year will look like. Am I going to go to parties? Am I going to drink? Am I going to stay on top of studies or procrastinate? Am I going to get sleep or stay up late watching movies? What kind of people do I want to hang out with? The list goes on and there's no way I could remember all those choices I made in those first few weeks of school, but I can say without a doubt that the best decision I made was joining this community, Intervarsity. Through you guys, God has challenged me and helped me grow closer to Him in ways that I wouldn't have even imagined at the beginning of the school year and Intervarsity has been the one constant in this crazy world of college.

I remember fall conference and awkwardly sitting in Abby's small group wanting say something but not saying anything because I had no idea who these people were. I remember on those first Sundays how awkward it was squishing in a car with a bunch of random people I didn't know to get to church. I remember the first time Kit asked me to go around McClain and take out people's trash and share Jesus with them. I seriously thought I was going to pee my pants. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I signed up for the Proxe station or when I made that call to my friend to see if she wanted to hang out once a week and read the Bible.

And because of all this and more, God has helped me realize more and more what it means to truly follow Him and call myself a Christian. He's helped me realize the urgency in telling people about Him and that even if I'm not so great at it, He will use those steps of faith in ways that blow my mind away. He's helped me to realize that yeah, school is important, but I value it WAY too much and that it can't become an idol where I find my worth in my grades instead of in Him. He helped me to realize that talking things out with people instead of keeping it holed up inside is REALLY GOO and that I can trust people with the messiness of my life, even if I haven't known them for years. I've learned that it's ok to have a lot of questions and that I NEED to ask them. I've learned what a true community is, and I've experienced it here.

The list could go on of all the things God has taught me this year, and I know there's so much more to learn. I still value that A way too much and find it hard to talk to my friends about Jesus or trust close friends with what's going on in my life, and I know these are things I'm probably going to struggle with the rest of my life.

But wha tI really want to say is thanks. Thanks to all of you for being awesome people who love Jesus and want to figure out life. Kit, thanks for constantly pushing me WAY outside my comfort zone and encouraging me along the way. Joel, as annoying as it sometimes was, thanks for answering my questions with even more questions and giving me more to think about. Thanks everyone for loving on a shy freshman and embracing all her quirks and oddities. I love you all :).

Needless to say, I can't believe my first year of college is almost over. It's been a long, crazy, exciting, but hard journey. And in this part of my journey of life, my freshman year of college, what I'll remember most is not whether I aced that midterm or helped pull the best pranks in my hall or even that we went 12-0 only to lose to Auburn at the BCS. What I'll remember most is all of you, from smashing 8 people in a car to get to church, to whammie Wednesdays, to grossing Aby and Becca out with crazy concoctions at Barnhart, to smacking bananas against our heads, to falling asleep in the prayer room at 3 in the morning cuz it's way to late, and who could forget the great chair heist of 2011? I'll remember all of you, this community known as Intervarsity, because all of you play an integral role in my journey of life.

Thanks"

Saturday, June 12, 2010

What is it all about?

With summer here, I get an opportunity to catch up on some reading that I often neglect during the school year.  It's a different pace of work.  Right now I'm reading this book, Wisdom Chaser, by Nathan Foster (Richard Foster's son) and loving it.  Well worth the read for anybody!  Reading in the park today, this line popped into my head: "Don't aspire to live a great, impressive life.  Labor to live a significant life."  It brought my reading to a standstill - it's not a new idea for me but it went deeper this time.

I think that I (we) live in bondage to our accomplishments for the most part.  It's how we define ourselves.  It's amazing how subtly I can slip into a conversation my improved running times, my plans for a 220 mile hike this summer, that I bake a lot of my own bread, etc.  I am very aware of my accomplishments.  How do I overcome my bondage to accomplishments? 

Working with college students, I see (and live) a constant invitation to define success through my list of accomplishments and greatness.  In my relationships with these students, I feel so tempted to one-up them so I have some semblance of authority.  I know - that's not where my authority comes from.  It comes from Jesus.  I know that, but do I live it?  If I'm honest with myself, most days I don't.  But that's not how Jesus invites me to live and I don't want students to live that either.  I don't want them to learn that their influence comes from their accomplishments.  I want them to know that everything they are comes from their relationship with Jesus.  How can I teach that if I don't live it myself?

I think this is part of Jesus' response to our bondage to an achievement driven lifestyle:

Blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for the will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for the will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you
and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
Rejoice and be glad!


Simple thoughts for a beautiful summer day.  I hope it continues to go deeper in my heart. 

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

scriptureprayer


I just finished reading Eugene Peterson's "A Long Obedience in the Same Direction." Awesome book that I'm sorry I took so long to read.  Below is a quote from the Epilogue in the newest edition which summarized and affirms for me some of the things I have been learning this year working with students:

"The second conviction was that my primary pastoral work had to do with Scripture and prayer.  I was neither capable nor competent to form Christ in another person, to shape a life of discipleship in man, woman or child.  That is supernatural work, and I am not supernatural.  Mine was the more modest work of Scripture and prayer - helping people listen to God speak to them from the Scriptures and then joining them in answering God as personally and honestly as we could in lives of prayer.  This turned out to be slow work.  From time to time, impatient with the slowness, I would try out ways of going about my work that promised quicker results.  But after a while it always seemed to be more like meddling in these people's lives than helping them attend to God...Scripture and prayer are not two separate entities,  My pastoral act was to fuse them into a  single act: scriptureprayer, or prayerscripture."

I don't know about you but I am so tempted by the "quicker" ways, the new ideas.  But time and again I reach a point where I realize that I'm actually trying to make this mine own thing, rather than let it be God's.  This past year has been all about exposing to students to Scripture and seeing what happens.  I remember when we started on this course, there was one particular student who grew up in the church, had the "answers" to everything but didn't love the Bible.  She was a sophomore this year and clearly said to me in the beginning "I don't want to lead a Bible study - I'm just not excited about it."  I remember praying "Jesus, I want to see her love your word!"  Just last week we were sitting and debriefing the year together and one of the things she noted is that the Bible has come alive to her in ways that it never had before.  WOOT!  I managed to maintain my composure but inside I was bursting with joy because God had answered my prayers!  She's even leading a Bible study next year.  

Scriptureprayer.  God has already given us what we need.  Let's learn how to hold it out to people and let them be transformed by the Holy Spirit.  I won't be with these students forever.  My hope is that they leave this place with a love for God's Word and for prayer.  Those are things they can take with them for the rest of their lives - and it will have a much more profound impact than if they were to take me everywhere with them!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Do you see?

Do you see?
Among the brokenness of humanity
with our distorted and twisted reality
there is a need for supernatural divinity
I see you, you see me
but in our limited 
vision
we only see a tree
halfway
I'm limping but at least I can walk
is not part of my theology
Do you see?
Not really.
But I want to see!
Not in part but fully,
like the sunrise of a new day 
breaking
through eternal darkness
not just for me
but for we
because this was never meant to be
just me
So come redefine, rework, renew my reality
so that I can see
clearly
I will not give into
"Be all you can be"
without letting that be defined by the
man,
God,
King,
JC.
I will stand against the force of the river 
carrying me 
to the sea
to that place of blended, forgotten
"I accept without thinking and ignore the pain" 
serenity
I am asking the world now,
Do you see?